from the corner of my couch: Dear Ellie

Dear Ellie,

Today you are FIVE years old. I just can't believe it. I have loved watching you grow this year. This year you became a big sister again, had to add another sister to your room (even though you would really love to have your own room), went to preschool 5 days a week, learned to swim well by yourself, got a new aunt, had your first airplane ride, had your first broken bone, and kept us all laughing every day.

Ellie you are my practical and laid back child. Siblings can be screaming all around you and you just keep on minding your own business. This year though we've started to see a quietly compassionate side of you. Someone will be crying, you will quietly disappear, and will come back a few minutes later with a favorite toy, blanket, or stuffed animal to make them feel better. It makes me tear up every time you do this. Your Sunday School teacher told us this year that there was a child in your class who was having a hard time and you were always so kind to her. You are the quiet friend. The one who is just there. You're not pushy or loud, you're just there. I also love that you can always find the good in people. You're often telling me what you like about people or what your friends are good at.

You are my child who likes the quiet. You love to play by yourself and you love to sit quietly while I read to you. You are comfortable just being by yourself but you are also happy to play in a group and I LOVE watching you play with your friends. However, you do prefer to just play with one or two friends rather than a whole group. This year I've loved watching you make your own friends. You have a few friends who are your very best friends and you love them dearly.

I think one of my very favorite things about you is that you get so much joy out of life. You LOVE getting to do special things and it doesn't take much to have you declaring that it's "the best day ever". I love to find little things that will bring you so much joy.

This year you weren't at school with Emmie and this was really the first time that you have been apart from Emmie for any extended amount of time. I loved watching you discover who YOU were and I loved how seamlessly you transitioned to not being the tag-along. You have so much confidence and your teachers told me at the mid-year conference that you were the leader, the one the other students would look to for cues on how to behave and what to do. This was so funny to me because at home Emmie usually leads. After JP was born the grandparents took you to school many times and all of them would remark on how happy you were and how you had to stop and say hi to everyone.

You are not really a "joiner". You're fine not having an after school activity and would be quite content to just hang out at home most of the time. With some playdates with your besties mixed in of course. ("spend the night" playdates are your jam) This yera I often felt guilty that Emmie was so programmed and you weren't but then I reminded myself that you were 4 and that you didn't WANT to be involved in afterschool activitites. You did do JumpBunch after school this year and you loved it but almost every week you reminded me that you were just "trying it out" and that I told you that you could stop at any time if you didn't enjoy it (you stayed in it all year...but just "trying it out").

You will always be my cuddle bug. You are my kiddo who loves to lay in bed and slowly wake up in the morning. You love to snuggle and you are the BEST snuggler. You just kind of melt into me and I love it.

Ellie I can't believe you're going to kindergarten this year. You just seem so tiny to me but you are SO ready. You are starting to read, you are GREAT at math, and you have a phenomenal vocabulary. I know I'll cry when you go to kindergarten. It doesn't matter that you're #2 of 4, I will always think of you as the baby. You are quite happy to fill the role of the baby in our family and we're all very happy to let you!

You are so smart and you love to learn new things. Learning just comes easy to you and you are such a little sponge. For years you have quietly soaked in everything Emmie is learning and learned it right along with her. You are always telling me some interesting fact. Recently you were explaining to me how you thought sunglasses worked (you told me that when the light hits them it bounces back and if you don't have sunglasses on then it just goes right into your eyes). I just love your logical little mind. I think one interesting thing about your personality is that when you want something, such as a new toy, you (generally) don't whine or fuss or beg but instead you will list all the virtues of the particular item. For Christmas you wanted a Snackee cup and so you quoted the commercial to me for months. And the same with the zippy sack that you wanted for your bed. It made me laugh every.single.time that you did it. (And made me want to go buy them for you right away.) You are always so quiet and sweet when you're "disappointed". GG and Papa brought Emmie pajamas and I had told them that you didn't need pajamas so they brought you something else. You later told them that you really liked what they brought you but you wish you had some new pajamas like Emmie. And then you did the little Eyeore look where you drop your head and your shoulders droop. Of course they ran out and got you pajamas. GG was shocked when she opened your pajama drawer to put the new ones in and saw your drawer that was EXPLODING with pajamas. (I laughed for about 5 minutes) You are a master at working the system but you do it oh so sweetly. I'm pretty sure we've all fallen for the Eyeore look.

You have recently started quoting parts of bible verses. It makes me so happy to see how much you have absorbed this year in Sunday School and Catechism. I am AMAZED at some of the truths I hear coming from your mouth. The other day when I picked you up from Sunday School your teacher told me that she had read the story of the Good Samaritan and then asked the class what Jesus was trying to teach. You raised your hand and said "Jesus says love your enemies". It brought me and your teacher to tears. I am so thankful for all the wonderful teachers you've had in preschool and at church who have taught you and prayed for you.

Now you do have your moody moments. I have a feeling you might be an "angsty" teenager. I think though that sometimes it's just that your little introverted self needs some time to recharge. I feel bad for you because you live with some VERY extroverted siblings who don't always understand your need to go play by yourself or just go lay in your bed for a few minutes in the middle of the day. I love though that YOU understand (and have from a very young age) that you need this alone time.

Ellie you are my child who doesn't have a filter. I never know what you're going to say and you tend to say it quite loudly! For instance, when Uncle Ben brought Ruth to meet us the first time they'd been here all of 2 minutes and you asked her when she was going to marry Uncle Ben. Poor Ruth turned about 20 shades of red! At the same time we never have to wonder what you're thinking and you do keep me on my toes!

Today I asked you what you wanted to be when you grew up and you told me the same thing you've told me for years, "just a regular mom like you...who works at the hospital too". I LOVE that you want to be a mom AND of course I love that you want to be like me! I know that no matter what you do you will be amazing at it.

When I was looking back at pictures from your birthday last year I was amazed at how grown up you look now. You grew up and lost your baby face without me even realizing it! I cannot wait to see what this next year holds for you as you start kindergarten at a new school with new friends. I pray that you won't change. That you will keep your quiet confidence and your funny personality. That you will always be kind and love God. That you will always have the same beautiful smile that lights up a room and that you will ALWAYS be my snuggle bug!

I love you Ellie Belly!