React with Respect: Food Allergy Awareness Week

This is food allergy awareness week and I love the theme this year: React with Respect. In the past year we have run into many different reactions to Ruthie's peanut allergy and, while so many people have been VERY understanding, concerned, and supportive, we have also run into people who think her allergy isn't serious or we're over reacting with our concern and these reactions hurt. A lot.


So, how can you React with Respect when someone has a food allergy?

*Take the time to listen. When your child is first diagnosed its HARD. Even a year later its hard. Having someone listen to me being neurotic or sad that Ruthie can't have a Reese's cup or sad that I can't have a Reese's cup unless I'm at work can make a world of difference in the rest of my day. I'm thankful for the people in my life who listen!

*Realize that food allergies are serious. Sure, some are more serious than others but generally ANY allergic reaction makes your child uncomfortable and none of us like to see our child uncomfortable. If you're not sure how severe a child's allergy is, ask! I love to have the opportunity to educate people on Ruthie's allergy. I figure the more people that know she has a food allergy, the more people who would know to act quickly in an emergency.

*Don't assume that we're crazy. Ok. I take that back. Go ahead and assume we're crazy. Because we are. Because this is our child's life. I try not to think about it too much but the reality is that people die from allergic reactions. So when Ruthie goes to school I will probably be the crazy parent and I'm ok with that. (JP and I will probably go eat lunch with her A LOT at the beginning of her kindergarten year!) I'm so nervous about elementary school that I've already talked to the allergist about it (and the beautiful thing is that he didn't act like I was crazy talking to him about how it will look when my child heads to kindergarten in three years). Also, I'm so thankful for our preschool for already making me feel good about sending her off in a year. Ellie's teachers are already so careful about making sure Ellie doesn't have peanuts so that we don't have to worry when she gets home and plays with Ruthie. (Also, the beauty of preschool is that all the food is distributed by the teachers so I don't have to worry about another child handing her something with peanuts in it.)

*Don't take it personally when I check behind you. Sure, you're telling me the pack of cheese crackers you're handing my child doesn't have peanuts but did you check or are you just assuming they don't? (Because why would cheese crackers have peanut in them...it's real...thanks Keebler, also Wal Mart brand crescent rolls..really?) It's not that I don't trust you if I check behind you, it's that this is my child's life and I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something happened while I was standing there and I didn't check because I didn't want to hurt your feelings.

*If you've checked labels before we come over for a playdate or you asked the baker if there were peanut ingredients in the cupcakes for your child's birthday party then know that you have touched my heart. Even if something has peanuts in it, the fact that you checked and are letting me know ahead of time means the world to me! 
With preparations for my brother's wedding this summer, everyone has been so careful to make sure there aren't any peanuts and to ask me questions when they're unsure (like can she have tree nuts). When we had Easter with Paul's family this year, his Uncle Clyde sent an email out to everyone asking that they not bring anything with peanuts in order to protect Ruthie. Then his Uncle Sonny, who was bringing chicken, sent me an email asking me to double check and make sure the chicken from a specific restaurant was okay for Ruthie. I have been so moved by everyone's concern and their eagerness to protect Ruthie.

Fortunately NOT allergic to smurfs!

*Celebrate with us in our triumphs and be sad with us in our sadness. We have a friend who's twins are VERY allergic to many foods. They have recently started being able to carefully reintroduce some of those foods. I can not tell you how happy I get when I see her posts celebrating a successful oral challenge (giving a specific amount of the food, prepared a very specific way, in the doctor's office in case of a reaction). Just as much, I love seeing all the posts from friends who are sharing in their joy. There are also sad times. Like when we got the results of Ruthie's peanut protein blood test and learned that she could likely have an anaphylactic reaction to peanuts. That is scary. However, to know we have a community of friends supporting us in the ups and downs is amazing and we are so thankful for all they do to keep Ruthie safe.

*I've said it before and I'll say it over and over because it is a moment that will stay with me forever: when we found out Ruthie had a peanut allergy I posted about it on FB and the next day I walked in to take the girls to preschool and Ellie's teacher Mrs. Elizabeth came over, told me she saw on FB about Ruthie's allergy and she was so sorry and gave me a big hug. That meant so, so much to me and I will forever remember the compassion and understanding she showed while I was still trying to grasp just how life changing Ruthie's allergy was. I struggled for a few weeks with a lot of sadness and fear and then struggled because I thought I was being silly but that hug and her understanding words stuck with me through all the sad.

Since it's food allergy awareness week, I can't write a blog post without sharing some education about allergic reactions and epi pens! I hope you'll take just 4 minutes and 24 seconds to watch the video...it might just save someone's life!